What Dino wants

At one year and five months, Donat and I noticed that Dino already shows signs of a strong personality. Strong, as in, he expresses very definite preferences for certain kinds of food, tv shows, clothes, toys, shoes, and even people. He also wants to have his way most of the time, which the baby center website explains as part of toddlers' need to establish their independence.

Yesterday, for example, we went to SM Dasmarinas to pick up some stuff and again, for someone who has yet to talk, he showed us clear enough what he wanted. While walking past a Jollibee store, I thought of showing him the larger than life Jollibee figure. After all, he always points and claps his hands at the Jollibee signages along Aguinaldo Highway. So of course he loved Jollibee and wanted to touch the face and hug the body.

A few steps away was a McDonald's store with its own Ronald McDonald figure. I couldn't even get the yaya to take a photo because he so wanted to get away from Ronald -- fast!

We then went to a baby clothes store because items were on sale at 50% off, and I always grab these opportunities to get quality children's clothes at more realistic prices. He liked the blue pants that I chose for him, but then set his eyes on a pair of shoes that he absolutely refused to let go of, and insisted on trying on. The shoes were rather pricey and the design looked rather funky to me (read: not my type). I tried to distract him with the pants and other things, but noooo, he kept pointing at the shoes and asked to be let down so he can try them on (all in sign/toddler language of course). The salesladies loved him and kept giving him various sizes to try on. Donat was no help: he actually liked the shoe design and was so proud that Dino was exerting his choice. (Exerting his will was more like it.)

We bought the shoes. Fortunately, it was also on sale at 20% off and it came with a free umbrella giveaway, but my nagging concern was more on whether we were raising him right by giving in to what he wants --- at least, most of the time. At home, when he insists on playing with the electric fan cord and I unceremoniously take the whole fan and hide it in the next room, I give him this lecture: "Anak, hindi lahat ng gusto mo sa mundo, makukuha mo." And the next sentence would vary from "it's not safe," to "it's too hot," or "it's dirty (!)" He cries, of course, so I distract him with something else (sometimes works) or I remove him from the "battle of wills" situation by bringing him to the car and allowing him to tinker with the hazard light, the car horn, or the stereo (always works).

Anyway, back to the shoes thing. Dino insisted on hanging on to one shoe, so we leave the store with one shoe in its shoebox and the other preciously cradled in his hand. He holds it even during a carousel ride with Donat (exhibit C) and only lets go when we walk towards the car (again because he got excited and started pointing at all the cars and SM delivery trucks in the parking area---his current passion).

I thought he would lose interest in the shoes altogether, but this morning at work, Donat sends this text:

"Ma, ang Dino takbo2 suot ang new sapatos, galak na galak."

I text back: di ba siya nadadapa? (The shoes were a size too big for him, to allow for his fast-growing and large-for-his-age feet.) Donat jokes that 1) the shoes should already be Dino's Christmas present for Christmas 2008, and 2) it's ok for Dino to have large feet, because "you know what they say about men with large feet." Anyway, Donat responds back:

"Takbo ok lang pag-ikot ang di ok, malaki pa. Natumba nga, ayaw pa rin pahubad.
Paghubad naman, ayaw pa rin bitiwan."

One thing about Dino, he also shows his appreciation in a huge way when he gets what he wants. Oh, well. Maybe dealing with each thing on a case-to-case basis will do for now.

Management for Moms

As a manager, I motivate my team by recognizing and rewarding their efforts --- a public recognition before her/his peers, a cash award, a lunch out, or dinner (as in the photo below, with our China counterparts and love ones at Max Brenner's), company tokens, a plaque. Being a manager (at least where I work) can be a tough job because you always have to deal with individual skills, motivations, attitudes to encourage people to be at their best.

I realized that management principles were pretty much applicable to children, as well. I also encourage Dino's new learnings by acknowledging his efforts. For example, I say "Wow, galing!" and clap my hands when he triumphantly hoists his empty milk bottle, or when I ask him where things are and he's able to point them out or when he acts on what I ask him to do (e.g. Give Mama your shoes).

Lately, Donat and I have been recognizing him a lot because he keeps showing us new things he's learned: repeatedly pointing at a book where a little boy was crying because he broke his toy (same thing happened to him when he broke one of his precious toy cars); unexpectedly blurting out words he hears from Blue's Clues and Dora the Explorer (Blue! Backpack! Map!).

Last week, my toddler management went the other way. Two members of my team did amazing jobs in their respective areas, and instead of the usual pat on the back or a congratulations, I responded by telling them "Wow, galing!" accompanied by much clapping of hands. Oooppsss! Fortunately, they didn't seem to mind :)

My son, the tap dancer

Apart from his current love of cars and trucks, Dino also loves to tap dance around the house. Any dancing skills would be courtesy of Donat's genes.

Sunday lunch musings

A couple of Sundays ago, Donat, Dino and I met up with old friends to bid our friend Lolit farewell. Lolit was moving permanently to Copenhagen to join her Danish husband Kim and three-year old son Alex. It was just a small group of friends who also happened to be ex-Philippine Collegian editors, but we certainly represented each section well: Luann for features, Donat, Data, and Lolit for kultura or the literary section, BenC who straddled both features and kult, and myself for news. We nurture hopes that someday, Sandino will also make it to UP and continue the family tradition of writing for the Collegian. I hope he's more of a literary writer and take after his father (and win a Palanca, too, in the process).

OC Mom's best attempt

Despite all my precision timing for us to do all the chores, dress up, and get Dino ready for the trip, we left an hour later than originally scheduled. Unfortunately, or fortunately (from any parent's point of view), Dino had to poo. So, nothing to do but wait it out till he's done and hope there wasn't much traffic on Aguinaldo Highway to make it in time at SM Mall of Asia where we were to have lunch. Much better than having to change him in the car (toxic substance alert!) or at some gas station (though on a scale of 1-5 stars, with 5 as the highest, Shell gas stations would get five stars from me anytime, for cleanliness and safety).

Travelling, living abroad

As we talked about the challenges of living abroad and adjusting to a new culture, we found out that we were all actively travelling lately, and yes, we all wanted to try living abroad for at least a year or so, preferably with our families in tow. Thanks to technology, we can all work remotely and still be productive. Best of all, we can still be in touch with friends. Karol [Heresy], who's one of my best friends, also an ex-Collegian features editor, and a lawyer, just left for Canada end September for a year's full scholarship on sexual and reproductive rights. BenC [The Couch Kamote Reviews] was to leave in a few days for an exclusive mentor's training sponsored by Google at its headquarters in Santa Clara. Luann [l a y a s] was off to yet another adventure in Hongkong, this time with our former San Miguel officemates. Donat was offered an art director position in Dubai, where many Filipino artists are now, but we're not sure how Dino and I can possibly join him there. I was supposed to go to Vietnam to possibly provide communication support to a manufacturing plant which my company is building, but they're not building fast enough to hire a critical mass of employees until probably late 2008. Interesting how we're all pulled in different directions and yet keeping warm on our friendships. By lunch end, we even agreed to all go to Paris in April 2009, though I lost track of much of the details due to Dino's insistence to check out the balloon slide outside Gerry's Grill. Will have to ask Luann what exactly it was that we committed to do in Paris (definitely a museum tour), and how we'll afford the trip expense in the first place :)


It's good to have lifelong friends

Being with old friends even just for lunch brings such comfort to Donat and me. We seldom get to attend gatherings like this since every occasion is an effort and a major production in terms of logistics planning, time management, and advanced notice. In the pre-Sandino days, our usual schedule involved book launches, film showings at UP or movies at SM, late dinner with Malate friends, DVD weekends (non-stop Band of Brothers in a day and a half), shows at the CCP, dinner at our favorite Tomas Morato restos. Even living in far-off Tagaytay wasn't a deterrent. These days: it's Blue's Clues, Dora the Explorer, and Spongebob from Mondays to Saturdays. Our lives ebb and flow along Dino's feeding time, play time, sleeping time, reading books time, poopoo time. Not that I'm complaining --- to be with Dino is to believe there really must be a God or Supreme Being who has kindly blessed our lives --- just realizing how different our lives are now.

Keeping the "luv" alive :)

Related to this, I told Data recently: best not to have babies until you're at least two years into married life; that way you get to really enjoy and appreciate each other's company and adjust to your individualities. As parents, Donat and I have to constantly dig into our wellspring of 18 years of shared experiences and appreciation for each other. It's only too easy to forget how much you love a person when the baby's crying his lungs out, the house is a mess, the yaya just left, you haven't had a bath in two days (gross, but true), and there's no KFC delivery for miles around! :)

Data said I was actually the only person to dissuade her from a baby project now. Of course :)

How to choose ninangs and ninangs

BenC, Luann, and Lolit are all godparents to Sandino, along with 17 others from our different circles of friends. Yep, 10 pairs or 20 godparents in all. I cringe at imminent comparisons to movie stars like Ruffa Gutierrez who had (I think) 12 pairs for her daughters. Donat and I both had just one pair of godparents ourselves, when we were baptized. Why then fill up all the space for godparents' names provided by the church registry?

For one, we had Sandino rather late (elderly pregnancy was my OB's term for it), so chances are, he'll be an only child (unless we somehow get our wish/plan for another baby, this time, a girl). Then, too, if you have as many circles of friends as we do, you'll find it hard to choose godparents too. There are: my high school best friends, Donat's childhood friends, my college best friends, our Kule friends, our Malate circle of friends, Donat's literary/arts circle of friends, our relatives, my San Miguel friends, my former bosses who are like family to us, Donat's mentors who are like family to us. In the end, we thought Sandino's many godparents would act as good influencers and examples for him, given the diversity of their interests and opinions. At the baptism, we asked for children's books that would reflect each godparent's interests or passion, for Dino's beginner's library. The books we got were excellent and varied -- storybooks, myths, bible stories for kids, classic fairy tales, Pinoy legends, plays for kids. I wish I had enough space to list them here. We are lucky to have so many wonderful friends, and our son even luckier to look up to them as he grows up and finds his niche in the world.

Many thanks to Luann and Data for the photos in this post :)
[Photos taken at Gerry's Grill and Chocolat, SM Mall of Asia]